For many people, the hardest part about therapy is disclosing the secrets they’re so used to holding alone. Shame-encrusted secrets can be incredibly difficult to name. Often, though, that naming is exactly what marks the beginning of deep healing. In this post, I share:
- A comic I created about saying hard stuff to your therapist (download a copy here),
- plus, I explain step by step how to make a difficult disclosure in therapy, and offer some words of advice – from a therapist – about so-called trauma dumping.
- and summarize some of the research on why we keep secrets in therapy and what happens when we fess up.
In this little four-panel comic, I show the 4 steps that I’ve found myself describing a few times recently:
Bạn đang xem: How to Say Hard Stuff in Therapy
Admitting difficult things in therapy can be the hardest part- but it’s often the point where deep healing begins to take hold.
Making Disclosures as Self Care, Not Self Harm
You’ve probably heard of the phrase “trauma dumping.” While it’s impossible to “trauma dump” on a therapist,1 therapists do sometimes need to slow down a client’s disclosures. This isn’t a defense on the therapist’s part, but rather, good care. Good therapists help support clients as they disclose difficult information at a sustainable rate.
Why it’s Important to “Dump Trauma” in Small Loads 🚚💬
Xem thêm : GENERAL CONDITIONS
Every seasoned therapist has lost a client to a shame spiral induced by disclosing too much information too quickly.
When big disclosures come before a foundation of trust, safety, and attachment, there is a risk that it will be too difficult to return to the next session.
Often, therapy clients ghost following a “trauma dump,” even if the therapist did everything right.
What’s the solution? Therapists and clients working together to engage trauma and big disclosures at a sustainable pace. For clients, this can sometimes be perceived as a therapist shutting them down or being uninterested – but it’s actually good care.
Strategies for Clients Telling a Therapist Something Hard:
Xem thêm : Your Guide to Zinc Strips for Roofs
Whether it’s disclosing a trauma history or admitting a struggle with intrusive thoughts, before blurting it out, check in with yourself to make sure that the difficult step is one toward recovery, not an act of self-harm in itself.
Escalating the disclosure through the first three steps can be an effective way to judge the therapist’s response each step along the way. If your therapist responds negatively to you naming your intention or voicing a request for what you need, it may be a sign that it’s not time to say the difficult thing to your therapist just yet.
What We Don’t Say
Secrets in therapy are common – but they don’t have to be. The most effective therapy outcomes come when clients are truthful with their therapist.2 According to one study in 2002, people in therapy are least likely to talk about sexuality and “procreation,” “but were most likely to disclose negative emotions (anger, disgust, etc.) and intimacy.”3
The APA recognizes that the most difficult topics to talk about (and those most often avoided) include “sex, substance abuse, suicidal ideation, trauma, feelings about the therapist and the progress of therapy.”4 A 2021 study by the APA found that only half of clients experiencing suicidal thoughts told their therapist about these experiences5 and a University of Maryland study found that while most people have made a difficult disclosure to their therapist, about 50% of clients kept a secret from their therapist2.
- “The very structure of psychotherapy is meant to encourage disclosure of one’s most shameful and distressing thoughts: It is confidential and private, characterized by a relationship with a caring, interested other.” Farber, B. A., Blanchard, M., & Love, M. (2019). Clinical and empirical perspectives on secrets and lies in psychotherapy. American Psychological Association. [↩]
- Baumann, E. C., & Hill, C. E. (2016). Client concealment and disclosure of secrets in outpatient psychotherapy. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 29(1), 53-75. [↩] [↩]
- Farber, B. A., & Hall, D. (2002). Disclosure to therapists: What is and is not discussed in psychotherapy. Journal of clinical psychology, 58(4), 359-370. [↩]
- Farber, B. A., Blanchard, M., & Love, M. (2019). Clinical and empirical perspectives on secrets and lies in psychotherapy. American Psychological Association. [↩]
- Love, H. A., & Morgan, P. C. (2021). You can tell me anything: Disclosure of suicidal thoughts and behaviors in psychotherapy. Psychotherapy, 58(4), 533. [↩]
Nguồn: https://buycookiesonline.eu
Danh mục: Info
