Navigating the Labyrinth of Life

I turned 50 last September so I hurried to schedule my first ever colonoscopy, a right of passage to celebrate the half century mark. This grand event took place this past July. Well I did what everyone else does the day before the procedure. I started the day with a clear liquid diet. I have to say, I enjoyed my black coffee with sugar, the powder bouillon chicken broth tasted delicious and the Jolly Ranchers were exquisite. I managed the hunger very well. I was motivated by getting the procedure over with and also losing a couple of pounds for weekend. I chose what I thought was the better of the two laxative treatments offered by my doctor. It involved drinking 32 ounces at a time in two sittings spread over 6 hours. It certainly sounded more appealing to drink 32 ounces at a time, then 64 ounces all at once which was the second option. The only problem was that drinking 32 ounces is still a lot of liquid and I was not thrilled knowing I had to repeat this process later that night. The stuff initially tasted ok, like a sugar-free aspartame energy drink, but after a couple of ounces of it, I started cringing with every gulp.

A friend had shared that she had not left her bedroom after taking the laxative. I hunkered down in my bedroom and turned on the television. I delegated dinner cooking to my husband. This MOM was off duty. I then sat back, relaxed, and let the medicine do its work. I watched 6 back-to-back episodes of TLC’s Four Weddings, mindless entertainment but perfect for the occasion. Soon I had most of the family watching with me.

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What was I thinking…

I had an adequate night of sleep. My procedure had been scheduled for 10:30 a.m. That morning I asked my husband if I should wear make-up to the procedure. What was I thinking, as if my husband knew of such things. But I’m the type of person who loves bouncing ideas off of people. I reviewed the procedure instructions and there was no mention of not wearing make-up. You see I love to always look very composed and made up, even if I’m going to the gym or my colonoscopy. So I went with a lighter version of the makeup. I arrived at the doctors and signed in. I said goodbye to my husband who would return for me 2 hours later.

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So here’ how it started…

I switched into the lovely hospital gown that opens in the back and was lying on the hospital bed with a heap of blankets on top since I generally get very cold in these settings. The nurse came to attach an IV line. She first gave me a local anesthetic that felt like a small prick of a pin. And thank god for that local anesthetic, because she could not find the vein. She moved the needle in every direction she could, but still with no luck. I felt no pain, but certainly lots of uncomfortable tugging. She finally gave up and said that she would leave it to the anesthesiologist. She told me she would not poke me more than once. Lucky me. So I sat there waiting for whatever would happen next.

And then the funny thing happened…

I saw a woman walking towards me, she was dressed like a nurse, she smiled and said (I have changed the names), “Hi, you may not remember me, I’m Susan Wright, David’s wife”. Sure enough, I remembered her. I had worked with her husband 26 years ago at General Electric. All I could think of was “Thank god, I wore my makeup, you just never know who you may run into”. It’s much like your mother used to say, always wear good underwear, in case you are in an accident, and you have to be taken to the hospital and they see your undies. The same goes with looking presentable for your colonoscopy. I was delighted to see Susan. We had exchanged holiday cards for all these past years but had not seen each other in person. She sat down and we chatted for while. It just made my day.

Unfinished business…

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The anesthesiologist came over and we greeted each other as he perused through my chart. Then he grabbed the bed to wheel me to the procedure and at about the same time that I was going to say something he realized I still needed an IV line. He was a master, he came over and without hesitation, inserted the needle directly into the vein and voilà I was ready for my Propofol.

Feeling Fabulous…

I was wheeled into the surgery room. I greeted my G.I. doctor and her nurse. My doctor, who by the way looks so very young, asked me how I felt. I told her I felt great and thought to myself, “and I look fabulous too ”. The anesthesiologist hooked me up to the drugs and said, “Turn to your side”, the nurse said, “Let me adjust your pillow”, and then it was like MAGIC… I woke up and it was all over. I heard a far away gentle voice offering me juice. I then very slowly got dressed back into my street clothes. Eventually, my friend Susan came over and escorted me to meet my husband. In groggy excitement I re-introduced Susan to my husband and we chatted for a bit. My husband knows how I relish in these surprise social encounters. And how fun to have had one on the way to my colonoscopy.

Thankfully, my test results were excellent. I don’t have to repeat this procedure for another 10 years. I will take this opportunity to share the following. If you are over 50 and have not had your first colonoscopy, then it’s time to schedule one. If you have family history of colon cancer please talk to you doctor about it and get a colonoscopy before age 50. I met a woman in Westport, CT who had lost not only her husband to colon cancer but her 28 year-old son as well. And sadly, I lost a childhood friend to colon cancer 2 years ago. She was only 44 years old, had family history of colon cancer, and sadly did not start early screenings.

I have a dear friend who gets very nervous with any type of medical procedure. She stresses out enormously going for annual PAP smears. She asked me how I manage to be so relaxed when it comes to these medical procedures. I don’t have a specific answer for her, except to let her know, that how I feel at any given time, can sometimes be linked with how I look. It’s like when I have a bad cold, the best thing to do is to get out of bed, shower, get dressed, and yes, put on my make up. Then somehow I start feeling better. Feeling fabulous may sometimes be connected to looking fabulous, even if looking fabulous is just in your head.

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