I am a hot cereal person. I love hot cereal. Part of this is due to having grown up in a place where they didn’t cancel school unless the actual temperature got to ZERO. My mother believed that a nice bowl of hot oatmeal was like an inner heater that would keep me from freezing to death at the bus stop when the winds of discontent blew across the frozen Hoosier Wasteland. Childhood habits become adult habits and I still like a good hot cereal, despite the fact that I see nothing LIKE a Hoosier winter here in the Piedmont region of Georgia.
I’ve always liked the various kinds of oatmeal, and grits. I’ve recently added Cream of Wheat to my “things which I like to eat for breakfast” list. Things which are hot, somewhat like paste and are also sweet are for me.
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Give me a spoon and a big bowl and I am pretty damn happy.
In my adult life I’m also about simple. Instant everything EXCEPT GRITS is how I roll. I want one packet and a certain amount of water or cream and 60 seconds on the microwave. I want it easy and I want it now. I want to dump it in a bowl, not really measure much and microwave it. It makes me happiest when I can stir it up in a bowl at work and eat it while reading emails and preparing for my day.
It’s sort of calming, eating my sweet, hot, paste food while reading and planning my day. I like it.
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My husband recently bought Coco Wheats and truly I can’t remember if I had ever had them or not, most likely yes. But I can attest to being kind of excited. YAY hot cereal. And chocolate as well? Lord sign me up. Perfect food in my opinion.
Well the first thing I noticed was this stuff had STEPS. Even for MICROWAVE instructions. Uhhhhh, steps? I can’t just push one minute and roll? Okay fine. Add sugar, add salt, add water stir and cook for one minute then stir.
It’s soup. It’s terrible grain filled soup. I was dismayed but soldiered on with the next step and microwaved for 30 seconds and then took it out to stir.
Oh god it’s full of huge clumps. Huge weird clumps and lumps and I can’t smash through them and what is this? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? I smoosh and stir and stir and smoosh trying to smooth out these monstrous grain clumps and put it back in the microwave for another 30 seconds.
Now it’s hot cereal. It’s still got huge weird clumps that are so overdone and not nice. But I stir it up and it’s turned into what it seems like it’s supposed to be for the most part. I pour a cup of coffee and head into the other room to enjoy my creation.
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OH MY GOD THIS IS TERRIBLE WHAT IS GOING ON? It’s NOT SWEET. I measured everything exactly because I wanted to get it right. Have you ever tasted chocolate that had “less sugar” that’s trying to be chocolate but is really just some brown horror in disguise? Well this wasn’t that bad. But it was close.
I went back into the kitchen and dumped butter and enough sugar to give Wilford Brimley pause and then tested it. THIS was what I was looking for.
Did I add another 100 calories to it? I don’t even care.
It’s not a convenience food but 10/10 would eat it again. I think. Maybe. Probably. It’s just never going to soothe me over my morning emails, due to having more steps than I am will to deal with while trying to start my day. Looks like CocoWheats are an AT HOME BREAKFAST food.
Cream of Wheat, Oatmeal and Grits can all make me happy in a minute. Why can’t you CocoWheats? Get it together.
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