Sex should be fun, but it can also be complicated. Welcome to Sexual Resolution, a biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin answering your most confidential questions to help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life. Here, she answers a question about hands-free masturbation.
DEAR VANESSA: I have a medical condition that makes it difficult for me to use my hands for extended periods of time. I’ve never had an orgasm before, but I would love to have one. I have tried masturbating before, but my hands get tired so quickly. I can’t do it for more than a few minutes, and it has never led to an orgasm. Do you have any tips for hands-free masturbation? – Tired Hands, 23
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DEAR T.H.: First and foremost, it’s awesome that you don’t want to let your medical condition get in the way of you exploring your body and bringing yourself pleasure. Fortunately, there are tons of ways to masturbate hands-free. Here are some amazing ways to explore making masturbation less taxing on your body.
1. Use a showerhead or tub spout.
Your bathroom has a whole world of hands-free pleasure opportunities for you! You can try lying down on your back in the tub, and letting the water from the showerhead fall down onto your labia and clitoris. If you want more pressure, try the tub spout. Or, if you can comfortably hold a hand-held shower hose for a few minutes at a time, that can deliver even more pressure.
2. Harness the power of Jacuzzi jets.
If you’re lucky enough to have a Jacuzzi (or a bathtub with jets), scoot on over to the edge and position your clitoris in front of the jet. Just be a bit careful at first, as some devices can be quite high-powered, and make sure not to aim the jets into your vagina.
3. Test out a new type of sex toy.
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A vibrator might be much easier for you to use since it does the majority of the work for you. It still needs to be held in place, but you don’t necessarily have to be done so with your hands. In general, a bigger, sturdier vibrator like the Magic Wand might be easier to be kept in position. (I’ve had a bunch of clients with mobility issues who were able to hold the Magic Wand in place, but again, this may not work for your unique situation.)
With some vibrators, you may even be able to clench it between your thighs to hold it in place. Another trick to try is to straddle the vibrator, so you rest your weight on it, instead of having to press it against your body with your hands. You can also use props like pillows to prop it up and get it in the right position for you.
4. Use a hands-free vibrator
There are also a few hands-free vibrators on the market. Check out the Bi Stronic Fusion, which provides both internal and clitoral stimulation. (It can also work anally, though it’s important to note that it’s quite girthy.) The toy actually thrusts inside of you while providing clitoral stimulation.
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