Roommate Problems

I spent the first 17 years of my life living in my own, peaceful, and perfectly organized room.

Then I came to Miami and that all went out the window. While I was happy to be living with a roommate, this was an entirely new experience that took some time to adapt to.

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How often you clean, who you invite over, and when you go to bed are all brand new questions you have to answer. But when you figure out how to communicate, and work through any issues that come up, your roommates help make your Miami experience even more amazing. Below are five relatable roommate problems and how to conquer them head-on.

Your roommate is sick…again

Getting sick is basically inevitable with how we all live in such close corridors. And we’re introducing each other to all the germs we’ve picked up from our hometowns.

During my first semester here, either my roommate or I were always sick. As soon as one of us would get better, the other one would catch what she had the week before.

Try not to get too upset when your roommate keeps you up at night from coughing or sneezing because odds are, you’ll be keeping them awake next time you get sick. The best preventative methods for me are to take 2 vitamin C gummies daily, frequently wipe down shared spaces/door handles, and prioritize sleeping as soon as I begin feeling sick. And headphones.

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It’s. A. Mess.

One of the first things I learned from living with someone is that everyone has a different definition of clean. Some people prefer a spotless room with a bi-weekly cleaning schedule (me) while other students don’t mind to have old pizza boxes, clothes, and moldy cups of milk laying around. If you notice that you’re cleaning way more than your roommate, it might be time to pull them aside and talk about it.

We have some tips for this below. Remember, open communication is much more effective than being passive aggressive, and hoping they will catch on and fix their habit.

Your favorite shirt is missing

Maybe you’re cool with sharing clothes with your roommate. Or maybe you prefer not to exchange items. Regardless, it is important to set boundaries with your roommate early on. If you share a room, there’s no lying about the shirt they want to borrow “being dirty”. Talk with them ahead of time, so you can prevent frustration later if they keep asking to borrow your stuff or took something without asking.

You have an unexpected “third roommate”

Especially in the residence hall room, it can be frustrating if there are always people over when you’re trying to nap, do homework, or simply relax. My roommates and I would try to tell each other ahead of time when we were planning to have friends over. We also wouldn’t have people over early in the morning or late at night. Remember, to maintain open communication if this problem occurs. It’s easy to ask your roommate and friends to move their conversation to the common area or living room.

They never leave

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Some roommate bonding time can be a great thing! However, if your roommate is always home and lives too far away to leave on the weekend, the struggle is real. Be patient with your roommate and try to understand they may be having a hard time adjusting or finding their place on campus. Ask your roommate to go with you to meet a SEAL Ambassador who can help get you both connected to student orgs and other involvement opportunities that meet your needs.

So You Have a Roommate Conflict… Now what?

First – show a little empathy. Try to see the situation from their point of view. If you are having a roommate conflict, you probably have no idea what is going on in their head. The story you have in your head (that the roommate is out to get you and is purposefully trying to annoy you. Or something like that) is probably wrong. You have to open yourself up to actually hearing their story. It’s not fair to make it up for them.

Second, practice using clear, calm and direct communication. This sounds easier than it is, but the more you practice, the better you’ll get at it. Use open-ended questions that invite a conversation. Try telling your roommate how their actions (or inactions) make you feel or how they affect you. Try restating what they’ve said so you know you’re speaking the same language. Try creating a moment when you and your roommate have each other’s undivided attention.

Third, revisit and resubmit your Roommate Agreement. You might have taken it lightly when you initially filled it out or maybe you skipped it altogether. That was a mistake. The roommate agreement is online and it’s waiting to be used. Establishing those boundaries and expectations can be just what you need to get your relationship on track.

Finally, if none of these things are working, ask the Residence Life staff for help. They are there to help you make it work with your roommate.

Final Thoughts

Your roommate problems may be at the center of your frustration right now, but remember they are only temporary. You have less than 8 months left of this academic year and in college, time flashes by. Pick your battles and try not to let the little things frustrate you. Use what you learn this year to help you come out better and be prepared for future roommate experiences.

Hannah Frier | Marketing

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