Yep. You read right.
Today I am doing something a bit different. Sure I am going to be exploring the above phrase and its origins, but rather than basing my research on online google searches, I am going to say right now, what I am about to say can’t be found on google.
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I AM GOOGLE TODAY PEOPLE. You won’t find this info anywhere.
I am going to bring forth a theory based on someone else’s fact, and so if you disagree with me, I’d love to hear it… but I think it’s pretty darn good.
Since I talk about origins, of course I can’t proceed without talking about what my Monday phrase first means. So, how do I put this…
‘Choking the chicken,’ diplomatically speaking, is the act of pleasuring oneself, intimately…
With the term specifically reserved to men. For good reason.
Think similar terms like “taking the dog for a walk,”
“spanking the monkey” and
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“bashing the bishop.”
And if you still have NO IDEA what I am talking about, you clearly should not be on this blog.
Onwards for those that do.
With the phrase well and truly explained and the image clear in our minds (sorry!) I will now go onto the fascinating story of HOW I CAME TO FIND OUT ITS ORIGIN.
And guess what? Real chickens are involved.
Photo by William Moreland on Unsplash
Some time ago we were visiting some family friends, who had backyard chickens at the time. Baby girl being the age she is, was fascinated with the chooks, and our friend caught some for her to pat.
As he held one, he was telling us about the chooks, and how he had to sometimes… choke them. Not choke as in strangle, but massage the area beneath the hen’s neck which is called the ‘crop,’ which if it became watery and squishy in nature, might mean the food they had eaten had not emptied fully, which could lead to an infection for the hen.
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To keep this from happening – he laughed – he had to “choke the chicken.”
At first I stared in awe. I mean, the term kind of went over me, as I stared, watching him massage the neck of the hen, up and down, until something, slowly and quietly, spewed and dribbled out from the hen’s mouth.
Oh God. Then it hit me.
CHOKE. THE. CHICKEN.
The official term used is ’emptying a chicken’s crop.” Look it up on youtube. Hell, I’ll give you the link that I watched. Go to 4:20. There you go, easy peasy pumpkin easy. And then watch as the chicken… well, you know.
I must advise, only those that know what they are doing should perform this manoeuvre. You can fatally harm a chicken if you don’t do this the right way. But as you can see in the video… OMG. Like it looks, the same! Oh God. I feel sick. Please don’t vomit guys, don’t vomit.
And there you have it. Choking the chicken. Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
Okay I will stop now.
Is there a phrase or quote you want me to investigate?
Let me know, and I’ll give it a go!
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